Tag Archives: support

Time to talk

I’m sure many of you  have seen Time to Talk being promoted on social media and hopefully many of you were brave and talked about your experiences with others.

I wonder how it was for you telling others about something so deep and secret, laying yourself vulnerable to others?
Were they surprised?
What did their reaction bring up in you?

But now what?

Starting the conversation is just the first step, in my opinion. There is so much more that needs to happen but the first step is often the biggest and hardest.

What else?
I feel we need to educate those around us on how we live with our illnesses and what it means to us.

I have always tried my best to be as open as possible with my family (hubby and kids) about how I was feeling and what I needed at the time; some days I needed nothing and had the energy of 10 mamas, blasting through chores and being in control. Then there were the other days when getting out of bed was the most difficult task in the world, my head feeling like lead and no strength to lift it.

It is important to know your own highs and lows, good and bad days to be able to ask for help, to delegate, to seek support, to be cared for in the way you need. This might be another tough step because most of the time, we have got so good at hiding how we are and our feelings from ourselves.

If those around you love you, they will step up and support you. If their reactions are less than you’d hoped, it will be hard to digest and deal with but at least you know where you stand and you are being honest. Perhaps you might need to change your relationship dynamics and put some boundaries in place to help you feel safe? Only you know what you need to do and who is in your support network and where they stand.

Mental health is very unique in how you can help heal and feel better because it is these very connections that hold the power, the magic and the healing. It is very important to get your support system right, to keep yourself safe and to only share what you feel comfortable with.

Talking about it is the first step but mind how you go on this journey and keep safe xx

One as part of a greater Whole

I feel exhausted.
You see I’ve just had a session with my counsellor. Yes, even counsellors have counsellors.

You see, we are all human and we all have things happening in our lives. The biggest thing I have learned is that accepting help and support from others is part of self care. Where do we get this idea from that we have to do it all on our own anyway?

It is exhausting talking about your inner most feelings and fears but after the exhaustion comes a sense of relief and a feeling of lightness from sharing the load.

As a counsellor myself, I can hear what I’m saying and I can logically see what I need to do. As a person though, I have accepted there is an emotional side of me that needs to be heard.

And seeing someone who is trained gives me the safety and confidence to know nothing hurtful will be said, especially about my depression like ‘you’re being too sensitive’ or ‘your just wanting attention’. Or my favourite, ‘how can you be a counsellor if you have depression’.

Receiving help and support is a tough step to take but trust me, having the help and support there is helping me be the person I’m meant to be, unapologetically and is giving me the strength and ability to support others.

Quite beautiful when you see it that way, supporting each other to be our true selves. Being human and being part of humanity as we were meant to be <3

Admitting how you feel

Image result for admitting depression

The first step to any change is awareness. If you don’t know that something is happening in you, then how do you know where to start?

If you are aware that you have postnatal depression, that is the first step. Then comes the most difficult step – admitting it to yourself!

For many of us once we realise we have depression, it can take a while to admit it to ourselves. Admitting it means we are telling the world we are not coping, we have failed, we are not good enough – right?

Not at all! Admitting you have depression is realising that your whole world has changed and that you need support. You haven’t failed and you are good enough.

We get training in everything else we do. What training have you had as a mother? And why is it assumed you will know what to do?

Depression is a signal to yourself that something needs to change somewhere, so by admitting it to yourself, and others, you can then start to receive the correct support you need and hopefully start on the road to recovery.

We don’t hesitate to seek help for cancer or diabetes – depression is no different. You have been through so much with the pregnancy, birth and dealing with a new baby. It is all a lot to take on and process and how are you meant to know how to do it if you’ve never been shown?


Basic Health Info

1S4C3846Good health makes an active and enjoyable life possible as well as achieving what you want in life.

The World Health Authority defines health as:

“ a state of complete physical, mental, emotional and social well being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity”

Physical health is the one we all know about; Good physical health can be achieved from exercise and eating well and the signs can be healthy skin, sleeping well, able to exercise, maintaining a healthy weight

Mental health is now becoming more into our awareness. Good mental health is a state of positive psychological well being where individuals are able to use their cognitive capabilities, function in society and cope with everyday life demands.

Signs of good mental health are optimism, self esteem, life purpose, belonging, feeling in control and feeling supported. Sometimes aspects of our lives can have effects on our thoughts and feelings, leading us to experience difficulties and problems which can affect your mental wellbeing such as bereavement, money worries, relationship problems and stress.

Note:  Mental illness:  refers to a diagnosable condition that significantly interferes with an individual’s cognitive, emotional or social abilities e.g. depression, anxiety, schizophrenia.

Emotional health is the ability to express all emotions appropriately, and to maintain a balance of positive and negative emotions. Signs of good emotional health are being able to keep things in perspective, connecting with others, self confidence,  aware of and can manage emotions, being content, able to make good choices…etc

Having good emotional health doesn’t mean you’ll never feel bad. It means being able to recover from the downs and find your emotional balance. Life can be challenging and we may get upset .  We have our ups and downs…but by being resilient we can find ways to cope with, and overcome those challenges is good for our  emotional well being.

Getting to know yourself and how you feel will help you notice the warning signs when you’re not well, such as feeling out of energy, tired, tearful, restless and agitated, anxious, not wanting to talk or be with people, not wanting to do things you usually enjoy, eating, drinking or sleeping more or less than usual.

Absolute warning signs that show you need to get some support are things like; using substances to help you cope with feelings, finding it hard to cope in your day to day life, not liking or taking care of yourself, feeling like you don’t matter – any of these warning signs, it is time to seek support.

You can get support in many different ways; talking to someone you trust can help like a counsellor, support worker, doctor, friend, family or Samaritans.