Tag Archives: judgements


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When my kids were little and so many of the mums I have worked with have had this same belief:

Everyone is looking at me and thinking what a bad mother I am”

We all think it but in reality, everyone else are simply trying to cope with their own emotions and their new baby.
In reality, it is us who judge ourselves the most.

So the first step is looking at what a good mother is. Write down a few words or sentences defining what being a good mother means to you:

Now have a look at what you have written and ask yourself these questions:
Are these my beliefs or someone else’s?
Where did I learn about motherhood from?
Does what I have learned, resonate with me or do I believe this because society says so?
Am I trusting my own instincts with my own child?

Having a look at what you have learned and what is being said to you will help you decide what kind of mum you want to be.
This is maybe the first time you are a mum and I am sure you are being given great well meaning advice from everyone you know – probably even people you pass by in the street! But just like anything else in life; YOU choose how you want to be as a mum.

How do you achieve this?
If you go at YOUR pace, create space and are self compassionate, you will learn to start hearing what your needs are and most importantly, hearing your own motherly instincts coming through.

You have full permission to trust and follow these instincts.
If you want to co-sleep, then co-sleep
If you don’t want to do the controlled crying, then don’t
If you want to take them swimming, then do

Having confidence in yourself and your instincts will make you so much happier in yourself and the cherry on top?

If you know your truth, you will not feel judged. If someone is judging you, you will soon realise it is their perception, clouded by their insecurities and NOT you.
You’ve got this.

Photos never taken

Isn’t it funny how we are always smiling in our photos? When someone brings out a camera and points it at you, the most natural reaction is to Smile!

It is interesting that we have this need to record only happy moments. We want to look back and see our photo albums full of joy, closeness and love.

It’s not always the case though, is it? We have moments when we have huge emotions covered by a smile. Do we even acknowledge half the emotions we have? Or do we brush them under the carpet and sit on them because we are not ready to face them?

There are so many things thrown at us in life and I wonder how many of these things we actually deal with? Our feelings are not just in our minds, they are all of us, physical and mental. Positive emotions have great effects on our bodies just as the negative ones have negative effects.

So how about, as you go through your day observe what emotions you are feeling. Give it a week. Just observe without comment or judgement.

Then as you observe more, move into recording. If you feel sad, take a self portrait. If you feel angry, take a self portrait. If you feel happy, tired, grumpy…you get the picture. (excuse the pun)

You don’t have to look at these straight away but in time, set aside some alone time and put the photos together. You can create a collage, write the emotions you are feeling over the photos, display them as you want.

Have a think as you look at the photos:
What caused you to feel that particular emotion?
Was it because what was happening at the time, or did it remind you of a similar situation it the past?
How does it feel looking at yourself having different emotions?
What do you want to offer the YOU in the image during the emotion? (Words, hugs? etc)

Learning what we are and who we are is an important step to learning how to love ourselves. These photos of learning our emotions can help you learn the triggers and causes of emotions and in turn help you cope through the hard times and enjoy the good times.

Good luck and let me know how you get on x