Tag Archives: help

Admitting how you feel

Image result for admitting depression

The first step to any change is awareness. If you don’t know that something is happening in you, then how do you know where to start?

If you are aware that you have postnatal depression, that is the first step. Then comes the most difficult step – admitting it to yourself!

For many of us once we realise we have depression, it can take a while to admit it to ourselves. Admitting it means we are telling the world we are not coping, we have failed, we are not good enough – right?

Not at all! Admitting you have depression is realising that your whole world has changed and that you need support. You haven’t failed and you are good enough.

We get training in everything else we do. What training have you had as a mother? And why is it assumed you will know what to do?

Depression is a signal to yourself that something needs to change somewhere, so by admitting it to yourself, and others, you can then start to receive the correct support you need and hopefully start on the road to recovery.

We don’t hesitate to seek help for cancer or diabetes – depression is no different. You have been through so much with the pregnancy, birth and dealing with a new baby. It is all a lot to take on and process and how are you meant to know how to do it if you’ve never been shown?


Why dependency is not a bad thing

There is so much information out there about how it’s bad to rely on anything to get by in life. Alcohol, drugs, sugar, fat…it’s all bad for us and our health.

But when you go out in society, junk food is advertised everywhere, there is sugar in most foods you buy, there is a culture where drinking is acceptable and encouraged and drugs, doctors prescribe every chance they get and we’ve become a species of pill poppers.

Is it all bad – Really?

Talking to some people who have recovered from addiction, the main theme seems to be that being dependent on something actually helped them deal with the traumas experienced in life. The addiction helped them to live a ‘normal’ life. Normal being that no one could tell they had experienced trauma.

I think we all have a dependency on something to help us get by in life and who are we to say to someone if it’s good or bad? We all have different experiences and deal with them in our own ways. Beating ourselves up and judging an addiction does not help.

Offering unconditional positive regard, not judging and actually caring can help us realise there is a dependency in the first place. We can then look at why that dependency is needed; what is it helping us to cope with? Then and only then can someone start moving on from the dependency, replacing it with more fulfilling and satisfying things.

From my experiences working with clients, dependency is like a crutch needed to walk after a broken leg. We can’t just take the crutch away and expect someone to walk. The leg needs to be pinned first, put in a cast, heal, gain strength and THEN the crutch can be taken away.

So the next time you see someone who is relying on something to get them through their day, I hope you will also begin to see the unseen within them and be more understanding and compassionate.

Basic Health Info

1S4C3846Good health makes an active and enjoyable life possible as well as achieving what you want in life.

The World Health Authority defines health as:

“ a state of complete physical, mental, emotional and social well being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity”

Physical health is the one we all know about; Good physical health can be achieved from exercise and eating well and the signs can be healthy skin, sleeping well, able to exercise, maintaining a healthy weight

Mental health is now becoming more into our awareness. Good mental health is a state of positive psychological well being where individuals are able to use their cognitive capabilities, function in society and cope with everyday life demands.

Signs of good mental health are optimism, self esteem, life purpose, belonging, feeling in control and feeling supported. Sometimes aspects of our lives can have effects on our thoughts and feelings, leading us to experience difficulties and problems which can affect your mental wellbeing such as bereavement, money worries, relationship problems and stress.

Note:  Mental illness:  refers to a diagnosable condition that significantly interferes with an individual’s cognitive, emotional or social abilities e.g. depression, anxiety, schizophrenia.

Emotional health is the ability to express all emotions appropriately, and to maintain a balance of positive and negative emotions. Signs of good emotional health are being able to keep things in perspective, connecting with others, self confidence,  aware of and can manage emotions, being content, able to make good choices…etc

Having good emotional health doesn’t mean you’ll never feel bad. It means being able to recover from the downs and find your emotional balance. Life can be challenging and we may get upset .  We have our ups and downs…but by being resilient we can find ways to cope with, and overcome those challenges is good for our  emotional well being.

Getting to know yourself and how you feel will help you notice the warning signs when you’re not well, such as feeling out of energy, tired, tearful, restless and agitated, anxious, not wanting to talk or be with people, not wanting to do things you usually enjoy, eating, drinking or sleeping more or less than usual.

Absolute warning signs that show you need to get some support are things like; using substances to help you cope with feelings, finding it hard to cope in your day to day life, not liking or taking care of yourself, feeling like you don’t matter – any of these warning signs, it is time to seek support.

You can get support in many different ways; talking to someone you trust can help like a counsellor, support worker, doctor, friend, family or Samaritans.