Tag Archives: food

Is a numb life a happy life?

Many of us seem to find life difficult and we turn to what is on offer to help us cope; drinking, smoking, eating, exercise, drugs, gambling etc. It can be easy for us to turn around and judge others for the coping tools they use but if we look closely at our own lives, what unhealthy coping tools are we using?

There is no judgement when I write this because I have been humbled and amazed at what some people go through and they use what they can to cope.

If you had a broken leg but had to move and carry on, you would do what you could to fashion a crutch and take what you needed for the pain. Like I said, no judgement here because if you need something to get through a difficult time, you need it and you are coping in the way you need to, at this moment in time.

If we do stick our heads in the sand, if we do numb ourselves to all the pain, does this mean we are happy? What does that word even mean these days?

Maybe it doesn’t give us happiness but it sure does give much needed break from whatever we are struggling with.

You are doing what you can, what you need to. Just be careful your coping strategy is not affecting your physical health and if you need help, please seek it.

You’re not alone and know that whatever you are struggling with, you will get through as “This too shall pass”.

Relationship with food

“I hated my body. I hated me. I used to cry myself to sleep most nights. I fell into the deepest, darkest depression and I was so lost and lonely. I avoided mirrors, hated it whenever we needed to go out because things simply didn’t fit anymore. I didn’t want to see anyone, because all the other mums looked like they had it together, they were coping and looked great. They’d gone back to pre-pregnancy weight and shape. To lose my weight, I started skipping meals and only eating chocolate or puddings. I was horrible though, so grumpy, shouty, snappy. Eventually the weight did come off but looking back I can see what a damaging way I treated my body.” Words from a client

What is your relationship with food and your body? Do you skip meals to lose weight? Or eat for comfort?

Our relationship with food is one that some of us don’t even think about or we obsess about it. Our relationship with food is extremely complex, some of it from our childhood, maybe even from when we were weaned onto solid food. It is sometimes the only thing we feel we can control but it has also been used to control us.

With my busy clients, food seems to be the first thing that goes, simply ‘forgetting to eat’. Or scoffing down comfort, high energy, low value food while feeding others well. Or with those who are feeling low, there is simply not the interest.

Where would you start with trying to sort out your relationship with food though? This is something so ingrained in you and you have your default reactions and actions, habits difficult to break.

I would say self compassion and self love which in itself isn’t an easy step to take. If you do see yourself as someone to take care of and love, the first question would be, “What would you like to eat today?”. Use that gentleness you would use with your best friend, your child and start to look after yourself.

Not eating well contributes largely to our mood, so it is a good place to start. If you’re struggling with this, as many of us do, please seek support. You’re not alone in this xx