When my kids were little and so many of the mums I have worked with have had this same belief:
“Everyone is looking at me and thinking what a bad mother I am”
We all think it but in reality, everyone else are simply trying to cope with their own emotions and their new baby.
In reality, it is us who judge ourselves the most.
So the first step is looking at what a good mother is. Write down a few words or sentences defining what being a good mother means to you:
Now have a look at what you have written and ask yourself these questions:
Are these my beliefs or someone else’s?
Where did I learn about motherhood from?
Does what I have learned, resonate with me or do I believe this because society says so?
Am I trusting my own instincts with my own child?
Having a look at what you have learned and what is being said to you will help you decide what kind of mum you want to be.
This is maybe the first time you are a mum and I am sure you are being given great well meaning advice from everyone you know – probably even people you pass by in the street! But just like anything else in life; YOU choose how you want to be as a mum.
How do you achieve this?
If you go at YOUR pace, create space and are self compassionate, you will learn to start hearing what your needs are and most importantly, hearing your own motherly instincts coming through.
You have full permission to trust and follow these instincts.
If you want to co-sleep, then co-sleep
If you don’t want to do the controlled crying, then don’t
If you want to take them swimming, then do
Having confidence in yourself and your instincts will make you so much happier in yourself and the cherry on top?
If you know your truth, you will not feel judged. If someone is judging you, you will soon realise it is their perception, clouded by their insecurities and NOT you.
You’ve got this.