Tag Archives: alcohol

Is a numb life a happy life?

Many of us seem to find life difficult and we turn to what is on offer to help us cope; drinking, smoking, eating, exercise, drugs, gambling etc. It can be easy for us to turn around and judge others for the coping tools they use but if we look closely at our own lives, what unhealthy coping tools are we using?

There is no judgement when I write this because I have been humbled and amazed at what some people go through and they use what they can to cope.

If you had a broken leg but had to move and carry on, you would do what you could to fashion a crutch and take what you needed for the pain. Like I said, no judgement here because if you need something to get through a difficult time, you need it and you are coping in the way you need to, at this moment in time.

If we do stick our heads in the sand, if we do numb ourselves to all the pain, does this mean we are happy? What does that word even mean these days?

Maybe it doesn’t give us happiness but it sure does give much needed break from whatever we are struggling with.

You are doing what you can, what you need to. Just be careful your coping strategy is not affecting your physical health and if you need help, please seek it.

You’re not alone and know that whatever you are struggling with, you will get through as “This too shall pass”.

Why dependency is not a bad thing

There is so much information out there about how it’s bad to rely on anything to get by in life. Alcohol, drugs, sugar, fat…it’s all bad for us and our health.

But when you go out in society, junk food is advertised everywhere, there is sugar in most foods you buy, there is a culture where drinking is acceptable and encouraged and drugs, doctors prescribe every chance they get and we’ve become a species of pill poppers.

Is it all bad – Really?

Talking to some people who have recovered from addiction, the main theme seems to be that being dependent on something actually helped them deal with the traumas experienced in life. The addiction helped them to live a ‘normal’ life. Normal being that no one could tell they had experienced trauma.

I think we all have a dependency on something to help us get by in life and who are we to say to someone if it’s good or bad? We all have different experiences and deal with them in our own ways. Beating ourselves up and judging an addiction does not help.

Offering unconditional positive regard, not judging and actually caring can help us realise there is a dependency in the first place. We can then look at why that dependency is needed; what is it helping us to cope with? Then and only then can someone start moving on from the dependency, replacing it with more fulfilling and satisfying things.

From my experiences working with clients, dependency is like a crutch needed to walk after a broken leg. We can’t just take the crutch away and expect someone to walk. The leg needs to be pinned first, put in a cast, heal, gain strength and THEN the crutch can be taken away.

So the next time you see someone who is relying on something to get them through their day, I hope you will also begin to see the unseen within them and be more understanding and compassionate.