They do say hindsight is 20/20 and almost everyone I know does this; We look back at the past and we beat ourselves up with the most commonly used words, ‘I should have known better’.
So many of my clients say this to me, ‘I should have known better’, or ‘It was my fault’ and there is great difficulty in forgiving themselves.
How do we start to turn this around though? How do we start to feel better about our regrets from the past?
Of course it’s easy to look back, knowing the full impact of decisions and events but at the time, you only know what you know. (you know!)
In any moment in time, we can only do the best we can, at that time. Perhaps we are tired, exhausted even. Perhaps we were rushed, or we reacted and it was all just too overwhelming.
The only way to let go, is to acknowledge you tried your best at the time, you know now what would have been better BUT at the time you didn’t. Perhaps you will do things differently but the main thing is to realise that because of what has happened, you are wiser and you know more. Some call this life experience and we do learn the most from mistakes and bad situations.
You couldn’t have known better because you maybe didn’t have that particular knowledge at the time.
Remember, you are always doing the best you can (taking into consideration all the drains on you) and you can’t know everything. Trust yourself and your instincts, learn to be your own best friend and talk to yourself to meet those needs no one else can meet and learn from bad situations.
Turn your ‘I should have known better’ to ‘Next time, I will know better’.
Breathe, be in the moment and forgive yourself.
It’s ok to let go and move on.
It’s ok x