Loss of Self

This year has been tough as we have been going through this global pandemic and in the UK, being in lockdown.

There is a huge feeling of loss in so many areas but the biggest one I keep seeing is loss of Self. I used to see this a lot in new mums, loosing who they are as they care for the little one but this loss has now moved to many of my clients.

A lot of what we do defines who we are, creating our identity and when we lose what we are doing, we can lose who we are.
Not going to the gym or to groups
Not seeing others and feeling isolated
Not working in our usual ways, maybe even losing our jobs

Everything is online and we are loosing that in person connection, a certain detachment occuring from everying being on a screen. Oh and huge screen fatigue on top of all that.

So what are the top tips that have helped others find themselves? Please read on to find out more…

I look to my pets and connect to my wild within, asking my animal side, ‘What do we need to connect to ourselves?’

  1. Create time for you.
    JUST you.
    Maybe even starting wth half an hour and building it up to a day, if you can.
    Many of us are constantly doing things for others, or doing practical things to help life to flow efficiently. We get lost in the practical aspects of life, the Doing. Of course this has it’s place but often we put our needs at the bottom of the priority list, under the house plants and dusty in some cases!!
    So creating time just for you is very important.
    This will include having strong boundaries and others respecting them and maybe having support in place so you are able to create some time for yourself.
    Book it in your diary, make it non-negotiable.
    This is as necessary as your need to breathe or eat. It is a MUST.
  2. So, what do you do with this time you have finally managed to create for yourself?
    No, not jobs or ticking things off your to do list.
    This is time to reconnect to You.
    A lot of the time when you do this for the first time, there is a sense of relief, breathing space and relaxation. So maybe the first thing to do is to simply sit with yourself, hand on heart and asking the important question, ‘What do I want?’
    Many have reported the first thing they have needed to do is thaw out from the numbness they have created in their lives, a coping strategy to help them function.
    Thawing out could be as simple as sitting in the quiet, standing barefoot on the ground
    Or even simpler – just breathing
    Don’t worry if this all feels overwhelming. Most often when we stop, we can get flooded with lots of emotions and thoughts we have been going to fast to notice. Breathe through it, it will be ok.
  3. Remember yourself.
    This time is for connecting with your inner self and a good way to do this is remembering what you used to do when you had fun, when you were in the flow, where you lost time and didn’t think of the past or the future.
    Hobbies are a good way to do this. Using our hands is a good way to stay present, engaging all our senses in our chosen acitivity.
    Gardening, cooking, kniitting, painting etc all things that can help. But remember this is not a chore, this is fun, playful, something that brings a smile to your heart, where you feel relaxed enough to let go and breathe.
    And where you remember You.
    The plus side is that you produce something you can see, giving a sense of achievement and a reminder that the world didn’t fall apart because you took time out for youself.
  4. To keep good wellbeing,this needs to be something you do regularly. Just as you regularly brush your teeth, or wash your clothes, this is the same. A must, a foundational activity, an act of love to yourself.
    And the more you do it, the more it becomes a habit and those around you realise and start to accept your need for it.
    This connection is very important and in times of stress or chaos, this very practice will keep you grounded, help you feel confident and because you are connected, will help you know your deep inner truth.

Remember, loss of Self is when we live in our heads to much, think to much. You are there, just hidden behind the busy things we do that we call life.

If you need help with anything, or are struggling, please reach out <3

Interview by Unbound Press

I was so honoured to be interivewed by Nicola Humber, from Unbound Press about my book, Release the Wild Within. Details below:

Have you ever been tempted to water yourself down in order to be more acceptable to others? Throughout our lives we can accumulate all sorts of layers of conditioning that can be hard to shake off.

So, how to you get back to the essence of who you are? Well, this week in The Unbound Writer’s Club I’m speaking with The Unbound Press author, Jessy Paston, about how to release the wild within.

In this episode Jessy shares:

·        What is the wild within, and how can we embrace it?

·        Boundary setting and owning your space

·        Jessy and her wild, unbound, writing process

·        Lessons from the wild, natural world

·        Jessy’s author journey

It’s been such an honour to know and hold space for Jessy over the past few years and I know you’re going to enjoy hearing more about her story – from growing up in Africa, eating mangos to finding her way in the UK.

Listen to the interview here

As ever, you can access The Unbound Writer’s Club on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Soundcloud, or head over to The Unbound Press website, where you’ll also find the show notes.

They got rid of wolves at Yellowstone thinking predators are bad, but they played a vital part to the ecosystem.
I feel this is the same way we think if ‘negative’ emotions as bad and want rid of them but they play a vital role in our wellbeing.
We need to face them, without fear
And learn the messages they are giving us.
If you’re struggling with this and need support, you know where I am ❤

Wild Within Interview with Angie Northwood

Angie is founder of Spirals of Wellbeing; Spirals offers women pathways to re-claiming and re-wilding the true nature of who she is, through learning the art of self care and love.

Spirals Website

I just LOVE this piece written by Angie:

Honouring my Sisters

​​Let me hold this space for you,
I am holding space for you
I will witness you
I will honour your courage

My tears will fall and flow with yours
You are not alone dearest one
Look behind you
You will see them all
Your sisters, your ancestors standing strong
Hand in hand, in hand in hand

Let us catch you as you fall
We are holding space for you,
For your rage, your pain, your grief
For your undoing, your searching, your discovering

We will dance with you around the fire of your disintegration
We will enter the cave with you and hear your wailing
your laughter and your joy

We will lay naked with you
As you crawl, re-birthing from the Earth
You are reclaiming that which was stolen from you my love
You are rewilding the true nature of who you are

For full transcription of the interview, please click here

 

Wild Within Interview with Tonia Gaudiuso

Tonia is a dear friend and a money coach with heart.

Tonia offers easy help for your financial woes. Walking through the four phases to financial flow, she gets you on track to your goals for your life and finances.

Demystifying the money myth so you can live a life full of JOY.

Website: www.toniag.com

Facebook link

Instagram

For full transcription of the interview, please click here

Wild Within Interview with Jacqui McGinn

Jacqui is a Hypnotherapist, Energy Healer, Japanese Teacher, Writer and Fabulous Networking Group Leader

Pieces to Peace Facebook Networking group 

To get your copy and to get the odd email from me (monthly at the moment), please sign up on the following link: Sign up for Release the Wild Within

For full transcription of the interview, please click here